A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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