I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
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