I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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