is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Houston, we have a squirter
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Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
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FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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