I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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