Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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