If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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