super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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