a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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