She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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