remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
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