Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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