Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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