yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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