I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize