do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
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I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
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Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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