loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
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I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
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