You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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