i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize