Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
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it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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