At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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