it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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