and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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