I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize