also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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