i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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