Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
being pregnant is like rehab
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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