I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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