out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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