I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I won't apologize to a one balled man
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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