i barfeds in our rink
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
so much tequila, so little girl.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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