do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize