she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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