I don't think brook has ever known best
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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