I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
and she was petting her beer can
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize