everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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