She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize