Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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