ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
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i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
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My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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