Screwed.edu
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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