lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Your cock deserves a montage
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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