so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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