Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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