Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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