so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
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Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
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By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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