Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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