i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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