im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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