i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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