Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  RUDE.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  outsmarted mickey deeeees

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions. (1-248): RUDE. (248): I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o. (1-248): outsmarted mickey deeeees http://tfl.nu/mqmo
  Replies (11) Good night (2695) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out http://tfl.nu/zgao
  Replies (22) Good night (1515) Bad night (3397) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass. http://tfl.nu/z2s4
  Replies (17) Good night (650) Bad night (5674) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?" http://tfl.nu/pevk
  Replies (33) Good night (3172) Bad night (1127) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much. http://tfl.nu/iiov
  Replies (5) Good night (3550) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives. http://tfl.nu/wwoi
  Replies (5) Good night (3830) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  even the AIR tastes like tequila.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): even the AIR tastes like tequila. http://tfl.nu/sty9
  Replies (4) Good night (3013) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew. http://tfl.nu/vnvf
  Replies (27) Good night (4409) Bad night (1283) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities? http://tfl.nu/eeu5
  Replies (14) Good night (1254) Bad night (404) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American. http://tfl.nu/gnds
  Replies (14) Good night (3231) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ... http://tfl.nu/w5eb
  Replies (7) Good night (1051) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter. http://tfl.nu/mtk4
  Replies (1) Good night (975) Bad night (338) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left http://tfl.nu/b3w5
  Replies (12) Good night (335) Bad night (726) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me. http://tfl.nu/d1qj
  Replies (3) Good night (309) Bad night (131) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Another sexterpiece awaits

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits (1-919): Another sexterpiece awaits http://tfl.nu/xw4q
  Replies (3) Good night (539) Bad night (391) Order T-Shirt

Randomize